PTSD

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams I walked alone ...

PTSD stands for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is a severe anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to any event which results in psychological trauma. There are several articles on the internet on how to cope with PTSD, the symptoms and more. This is my personal account of the PTSD symptoms I faced (and some that I'm still experiencing) and how I have been coping.

Symptoms

• Nausea (off n on)
• Nightmares that make me wake up in the middle of the night
• Flashbacks (happen at any time in the day in the midst of any regular activity)
• Flashing thoughts and images of a hand or some heavy object hitting me on the head
• Insomnia (I'm able to go off to sleep but wake up in middle of night and then not able to sleep again as same thoughts keep repeating in my head)
• Suddenly feel sleepy during day. I think these are what they call sleep attacks
• Feel tired constantly at least 3-4 days in a week. Especially those days when I'm not able to sleep well at night.
• Headaches with heavy head
• Shooting pain in different parts of the head
• Had anxiety attacks. Once a major one and I think about twice small ones.
• Memory problems
• Concentration problems
• Being irritable and angry
  

How to cope

• Educate yourself about the problem you faced. I read a lot about domestic violence and abusive behaviour. I still have to read the full book "Why does he do that" but even the excerpts I have read have helped a lot.
• Know your legal rights. Awareness is the biggest power you can hold. Feeling more powerful automatically means feeling less vulnerable.
• Write. Write a lot about what happened. It helps vent out the inner emotions that have been boxed up inside for so long. It'll also helps you understand your feeling now and back then.
• My psychiatrist had told me about a zen technique in which you can look at your past and even present self as a third person, a spectator. This helps in distancing yourself emotionally from the experience and breaks any emotions attached with the incidents.
• I have never tried to block out the dark experiences. Instead I face them squarely as a part of my life. No matter how bad they were they hold valuable lessons that I can use to better my future.
• "Hear my words that I might teach you, take my arms that I might reach you" ... Read experiences of other women who went through similar situations. Join groups and talk to them. Knowing you're not alone is very comforting.
• "Silence like a cancer grows"... Share your experiences with others who've had similar ones. Being understood works like a soothing balm.
• "Fools", said I, "You do not know" ... Expect the least from your friends and family who haven't been through it. Even if they want they cannot understand what you have and are going through.
• I recollect every instance in which I have stood up for what I believed in and especially those against my abuser. I make it a point to write them down and read them whenever I'm feeling low. It reminds of my strengths and helps me get over the low moments faster.
• **** Eat healthy. Exercise regularly. Staying physically healthy is a big plus.
• ***** Meditate regularly. Most of the symptoms disappeared within five days of meditating!

...And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never shared
No one dared
Disturb the sound of silence