Reaching out to sufferers/survivors of domestic violence or intimate partner abuse. Please do not suffer in silence. Life has a lot of wonderful experiences to offer and you deserve every one of them.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

And the oscar goes to...


A list of his favorite excuses for and after the abuse

  • On trying to bring up a discussion about anytime he'd been violent or abusive he'd say he blacked out and doesn't remember a thing. He looked genuinely confused, worried and very sad when he said that. (applause applause)
  • When I'd ask him why he hit me after a violent episode sometimes he'd deny having any memory of it. He just pretended like nothing happened and continued merrily with whatever he was doing, ignoring me completely.
  • Rage. He said he has an anger management problem. He even showed me books and articles he was reading and shared them with me.
  • He said it was what I said that incited him
  • He was being verbally abused for the last four years (stated Oct 2009)
  • He said he needed me. That I made him a better person
  • He said he was sick and needed my help. (But never would agree to go seek help, - professional or otherwise. In fact if I tried to get him any help he would resist it with every ounce of will in him! If I brought up the topic in front of his or my family in his presence he would quietly and calmly not respond to anything or say a word. Then he would start picking out lines I said from our conversations carefully leaving out his parts and twisting the whole conversation. The focus would turn to me. He did the same even when we visited a counselor - much later).
  • He'd say he's sorry and loved me to bits. I was his life, he would die if I left him. It would never happen again.
  • "It'll never happen again ... I promise" (with the puss in boots sort of pitiful look in his eyes)
  • "Please give me one last chance" (encore!)

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